Beware the dead camels, and please pass the salt

Abstract: There's a new threat we need to talk about: dead camels... Dinner conversation is drying up. And the culprit? So few new topics. When we chat animatedly over our lamb cutlets we prefer a subject that can be expressed as a word or phrase so it can be neatly packaged and passed on to the person sitting next to us - "what do you think of this Zuma thing?" or "isn't crime getting out of control now?"
The reality is that 'the Zuma thing' is getting boring and 'crime' is offering few new twists to spark any discourse over dinner (unless of course you've just been robbed at a restaurant). While we're at it 'the war on terror' has dragged on too long and 'HIV/AIDS' seems to be under control (as much as any rampant, ineptly addressed epidemic can be). So

Come on guys, let’s show off our manhood!

Abstract: This is not about what you think. It's about that which makes men, men and how it's being cut off. Man, as opposed to woman, is facing his ultimate emasculation, and it seems it may ironically be the kindest cut of all. He may not even notice it happening and, when the blade finally falls, women around the world will smile with satisfaction and say, "there, our work is done". Outside of the actual disseminating of his reproductive material, is there anything a man can do that a woman can't? Think about it - thanks to panicky liberal thinking and the strident, affirmative actions of women's rights campaigners, men are no longer kings of anything anymore. Women swing pickaxes down mines and fly space shuttles; and at the end of a sweaty day they burp, break wind and knock back a couple

Stop worshipping false idols

Abstract: Whether we like it or not, Idols makes idiots of us all... The joke goes a little like this: How do you know when Idols is on M-Net? When your dog scrambles under the sofa...Like Idols, there's a faint touch of reality to this joke. Apparently, dogs panic at the sound of other dogs howling in pain. Tomorrow, we know, about 3 000 children in sub-Saharan Africa will die of malaria. South Africa rather wants to know who's going to win Idols. The word 'perspective' pops into mind. I have been following the developments in Idols with disinterest. So called 'reality shows' just don't do it for me. Maybe it has something to do with the blatant lack of reality, or because my hackles rise whenever someone tries to dress up a Yorkie as an attack dog. But then I remind myself it's all